Thursday, February 10, 2011

Thursday Thirteen - 13 Mistakes Women Make in Bed

I've invited Erick McAlister here to post today's Thursday Thirteen. He is the sexy hero in Tormented Soul and has lots of sexual experience from which to base his post upon. Erick...

Thank you, Mary... I think. I don't consider myself a hero, (heh, heh), but I do have a... let's say, colorful past.

Today I decided make a list of 13 mistakes women make in bed.

1. Lie like a lump on a log - Be active in your sex life and your quest for orgasm. Discover what you like and teach him how to please you. Sex is great fun, if you let it be. Sex doesn't always have to be a workout, though. Slow, relaxing lovemaking definitely has its place.

2. Insecurities - Another rule that goes for both men and women is that the presence of insecurities makes a person undesirable to others. Confidence in and out of the bedroom is the sexiest thing anyone can portray. Almost all men absolutely love the female form, in varying shapes and sizes, and cannot see the imperfections we see.

3. Thinking men have erogenous zones - There's only one, ladies, and it's not hard to find! A few men enjoy pre-sex fun with other parts of their bodies, and some would like you to venture from it for short bits or as an addition to direct stimulation.

4. Faking orgasms - Never, never, NEVER fake it! If it is because you'd just like to get it over with, get out of bed and don't get back in until you really want to. If you are enjoying the sex and would like to get out from under the pressure to climax, talk to your guy and let him know (a buzz kill during sex, but certainly at another time). If you want one, then make the effort to get one. If he's doing something that is stopping you from orgasming, let him know!

5. Being self-critical - Try with all your might to accept his attention and compliments gracefully as often as possible! He sees you differently than you see yourself.

6. Assuming that men will be "up" for it at the drop of a hat anytime, anywhere - News flash - men don't get hard with every passing breeze. Emotions, insecurities, worries, or tiredness can make the grand stand-up take some time. They aren't much different than women in this way, only a woman's process of arousal isn't as visible.

7. Forgetting how visual men are - Almost all men go crazy at the sensual sights. They never get sick of seeing a naked woman, a woman in lingerie, a woman posed seductively, a woman in the shower, a woman in a bathing suit, you get the picture. I know many of you enjoy your eye candy... ha, just look at the other posts here! Well, men enjoy eye candy too.

8. Giving him the silent treatment - If he makes you hot, let him know it. You don't have to talk dirty, but make some noise. Let him hear how much you are enjoying yourself. Your sex will get more satisfying when you let him know that he's pleasing you.

9. Not initiating sex - Yet another two way street. Your guy enjoys being pursued as much as you do. It is the glue that holds an intimate relationship together. Neglecting your job to initiate sexual contact will send your lover the message that you aren't interested in it at all.

10. Letting go of your female allure - Your guy wants to keep all the passion alive in your relationship as much as you do, but if he can't see any of the female sweetness that got him hot for you in the first place, what is he supposed to cling to? The memory of your allure? The friendship that has developed out of your relationship? If you know what it is like to end up with half the guy you fell in love with, make sure you don't do that to the man you love.

11. Expecting him to think like a woman - While your man really wants to please you and is likely to do whatever he can to make things great for you, it might not come naturally to him. It might never cross his mind to choose his bedding with you in mind, shave his back hair, or do the things you like during sex. Again, this is about communicating with your lover. Not many people, men or women, are born great lovers.

12. Losing your sexuality after becoming a mother - It is understandable that women sometimes do get too tired to make their sex lives a priority, too caught up in being a new mother to notice their husband romantically, and too self-critical to be sexy with their guys. You've got to remember that the beginning of a perfect family is the perfect couple. You can't put that relationship on the back burner for long before it burns up. Relax and enjoy his attentions.

13. Getting your feelings hurt when he doesn't want to cuddle - It's no joke that at orgasm, there are chemicals released in a man's body that makes him want to roll over and go to sleep. Sometimes, the feeling is so intense that cuddling (while still hot and breathing heavy from his performance) with you feels like torture. Give him a break when he needs to rest. Trust me there will be times will be ready to talk and kiss or even get up and do the dishes!

I hope I have't offended anyone, but sex is a beautiful thing and should be enjoyed.

Hey, Mary is giving away two special items this month.
A signed copy of Tormented Soul (I'm the sexy hero of course) and a gift from my favorite store, Lover's Lane.

All you have to do is visit her blog, Romantic Interludes, and leave a comment on any post until midnight the 14th, the holiday for love... Valentine's Day.

Names will be placed into a drawing and the winner will be picked and announced on February 15.


Mary Quast said...

Thanks again, Erick!

Cara Bristol said...

Great list!

Darla M Sands said...

I love it! There is so much truth in this.

Alice Audrey said...

Lots of good points in this list, including some things I learned the hard way.

Savanna Kougar said...

That's why I write fantasy erotic romance. My heroines don't make mistakes in bed because the hero would never allow it.

Norma Beishir said...

This is great...ladies, we should all pay attention!

Bratty said...

I want to see the women's list!

Jennifer Leeland said...

Very true. I like this list.

Scarlett and James said...

Great list!

Scarlett and I have bestowed the blog with what we're calling the Cold Shower Award. Check it out when you have a chance.

BrieCS said...

Well said. Now if only the rest of us could actually put them in practice!