Sunday, July 31, 2011

Six Sentence Sunday

Enjoy six sentences I selected from my newest release, Handcuffs & Silk.

Once inside, she slid out of his arms and stepped back to gaze at him. Everything else faded around her until only the magnificent man standing in front of her held her attention. Sex appeal coupled with willingness to satisfy equaled a very appealing combination in a one-night stand. His body radiated a power she wanted to tap. When he embraced her, their bodies fit together in a way promising extreme pleasure. Hunter lifted his arms out from his sides “Do I meet your approval, ma’am?”

Available from Decadent Publishing

Visit Mary's website or her blog

Friday, July 29, 2011

Friday Flirts

I’m not sure if I’d use any of these as pick up lines or text messages.... but...

1. If I have a strong desire, don't say it is a sin. I'm already on fire, and just want to touch your skin.

2. In my dreams you're mine, in my life you're a dream.

3. You're eyes are soft and tender, as sweet as they can be. There's one thing you must remember, you are the one for me!!!

4. Your daddy must be a terrorist. Because you are DA BOMB!

5. If love is a crime, lock me up, I'm guilty baby!

6. I dream those eyes, those lips, that face, that body...Ok, enough about ME! Tell me something about you!

7. Never make love in the garden or in the fields...... Love might be blind but your neighbors aren't!

8. I think I should tell you what people are saying behind your back.... Nice Ass!!!!!!!

9. Do you know that you would look great with two pounds less ... in my opinion those clothes weigh exactly two pounds!

10. Love is a name, Sex is a game. Forget the name and play the game!

11. Do you know what position 68 means? .......You are doing me and I owe you one!!

Yeah... some are pretty corny. LOL Come on... admit it... which one would you use?

Mary Quast
New Release Handcuffs & Silk

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

New: WINGING IT by Sandra Sookoo

Sandra Sookoo's writing fairies! Here's the skinny:

Joy and despair, light and dark, you can’t have one without the other.

Devlin Addams has recently returned home from Afghanistan. Haunted by memories that he survived the fighting while his buddies didn't, as well as chased by the knowledge his mom is crazy, he’s having trouble acclimating himself to civilian life. Now, armed with a dog and a therapist, he constantly battles the urge to end it all.

Lia Farry—because her Fae name is a mouthful—has tumbled into the Mortal Realm through the Veil between worlds by mysterious circumstances. Thrust into a new and harsh human existence, finding anything to be happy about is hard. If she can’t go home, she’ll have to make it work.

Forced to interact, Dev’s protective instincts kick in, but he’s unprepared for the onslaught of lust Lia represents. He wants a normal life but not at the expense of getting involved. Lia knows she soothes his torment yet she’s battling her own problems. Desiring Dev is a dangerous prospect. Add in a meddling Fae queen and suddenly life as they know it will change forever. Love is at stake. A leap of faith is all they have to depend on.

You can purchase it here!


When Lia slowly turned, Dev stiffened, backing away a step until his back crashed into the opposite wall. The dressing room wasn’t big enough for both of them and definitely not now that she stalked him while mischief sparkled in her eyes.

“You need to get dressed.” He edged toward the door but she caught him in a corner, holding him still with only light pressure on his arm. His pulse roared in his ears, pumping as hard as if he’d run three miles at the gym, waking each nerve ending and rushing to his groin.

“I will. First, show me how to adjust the bra.” She pushed her lips into a pout that almost had his knees buckling. “Who else can I ask? I don’t know anyone.” The hand on his arm slid up to his shoulder, then further to caress his neck where her fingers tentatively brushed along his jaw and cheek.

Everywhere she touched sent heat lingering over his skin. His breath caught. Never had he been so terrified--not even during the darkest hours in Afghanistan when certain death was imminent. Now, caught in this ridiculous woman’s pull, he had no idea how to act or what to do, yet her air of vulnerability captivated him, compelled his sense of honor not to abandon her.

“I’m waiting, Dev.”

Her scent filled his nostrils with a mix of faint flowers and the juice she’d spilled earlier, reminding him she still looked like one of Peter Pan’s lost boys, except she was definitely not a boy. She pressed closer and her very feminine curves settled against him as if they’d been created just for him. He swallowed, trying to force moisture into his dry throat. It was a losing battle, like attempting to keep his rapidly fading willpower in the forefront of his mind.

Dev gripped her hips, holding her against him for brief seconds before he slid his hands to her waist, enjoying the softness of her skin. When she gave a tiny gasp of surprise, he stared into her eyes and watched as the pupils darkened with the same lust coursing unchecked through his system. Damn it. His brain screamed a warning, imploring him to find out more about her before taking this next, irreversible step. The fact that his body reacted to her so easily was cause for alarm, but he couldn’t pull away.

He urged his hands higher until he gently cupped her breasts, now hidden by the pink satin. The tip of her tongue darted out to moisten her bottom lip. Dev bit back a curse. In desperation, he made a deal with himself. If he could get some questions answered, find out exactly why and how she’d arrived on his doorstep, then he’d kiss her—but that was it. Just to take the edge off the hormones that raged inside. His breath rasped in his chest and he nodded. Good plan. The pads of his thumbs skimmed along the slippery satin, recalling the situation. The key to surviving her crashing into his life was to keep her clothed and busy so he wouldn’t be tempted. It had to be this way if either of them was to survive.

“Touch me, Dev. It’ll make you happy.” A tremble danced through her body, so intense he felt it in his fingertips.

The words snapped him back into a normal frame of mind. His lip curled in a sneer. As if I have any right to be happy, not after the things I’ve done, the lives I’ve taken. This crap has to end--now. With the efficient movements every military member possessed, he slipped a hand into one of the bra’s cups and adjusted her boob so it lay correctly in the garment, then he repeated the action with the other one. When her nipples pebbled from the interaction, he ignored them.

Gripping her shoulders, he firmly removed her from his personal space. “Put the damn clothes on, or I will haul your half-naked ass out of this store over my shoulder. Do you understand?”

“But—” Oh, hell, was her bottom lip actually quivering?

“I don’t want to hear it.” He also ignored the sudden hurt and confusion that sprang into her expression. “We’re going home and will get some sleep--in separate beds.” He added the last part in case she had other ideas. “In the morning I’m going to the gym, followed by my shrink. When I come back, I’m taking you home. That’s it.”

He took another look at her, nearly naked with the best rack he’d seen in a long time, and heaved a sigh. Unless the agreed-upon mental deal he’d struck could be put into play first. Despite her side trips into potential crazy town, he kinda liked hearing her talk. Somehow, it made him feel less alone and more human.

“Okay, Dev, if that’s what you want.”

“Good. That’s what I want.” No matter how much the tears in her eyes made him feel like the lowest form of pond scum, there needed to be some ground rules going forward.

Turning, he fumbled with the sliding lock on the dressing room door, and once he’d yanked the panel open, he shot outside, never once looking back.

Tomorrow couldn’t come fast enough, and there was still the night to get through.

Check out the Book Video, too.

One random commenter will win book swag with "fairy" dust to celebrate the release of this book!

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Do you rely on muse or discipline?

I took a writing class some years ago, and my teacher was a midlist genre writer who'd gotten his first contract after submitting an unagented manuscript and making it through the slush pile. Impressed, all us students had the same question for him: How did you do it?

His answer was simple and sobering: he wrote. A thousand words every day, no matter what. Even if they were crappy words, he made them happen. He'd wake up early, go to sleep late, put off deadlines for other, seemingly more important, projects. His wife had some nicknames for his word-count focus, he said, though he didn't say what they were.

They probably didn't include the word muse.

As a creature of significantly less discipline, I rely on the muse, on feeling the story, on letting it write itself. Because when it works, when the muse is speaking to me, it feels so damned good. Like magic. Like winning. Like sex. On the flip side, when the muse isn't talking to me, I feel like such a fraud.

I'm trying to break my dependence on her, that on-again off-again bitch, but it's hard going. I keep thinking about my teacher and his insistence on a thousand words a day, no matter what. He wrote his first novel while in law school, so I know he wasn't exactly swimming in spare time. Surely I can carve out time every day for a thousand stinking words. Surely. Maybe that's the difference between a hobbyist and a professional writer, this ability to churn words even when you aren't feeling it.

I just keep reminding myself that one of the three original Greek muses was Melete, practice.

Monday, July 11, 2011

New Releases: Ragged Edge & Impulse Control

While a new book releasing isn't new for me, two books releasing around the same time, is. Not to mention, both releases are with different publishers, both of which are also 1st times. That's a lot of firsts!

This Wednesday, July 13, my first Ellora's Cave title releases:

Ragged Edge

Buy Link:

Dalton is no stranger to hitting rock bottom. He’s worked hard to turn his life around. Now he has a quiet life, a successful business and a no-strings-attached arrangement for sex with Kincade. Everything is just as it should be. Then a late-night rendezvous is interrupted by a sexy newcomer, and Dalton realizes something is missing.

Caught up in the intense passion the men share, Erin finds herself fighting her desire to run or to get between these two hard bodies. She’s convinced her attraction is wrong. However, a little persuasion from both Dalton and Cade convinces her she belongs with and between them.

Erin’s surrender becomes Dalton’s reawakening. A BDSM master, Dalton is in his element wielding command, and soon the threesome fill their nights with mind-blowing pleasure. But when a piece of Dalton’s past resurfaces, it threatens the very foundation he’s built and could put him back at the bottom.

Warning: This book contains explicit sexual content, graphic language, and situations that some readers may find objectionable including but not limited to: D/s, bondage, m/m, m/m/f, anal play/sex, voyeurism

And, next Friday, my first title with Decadent Publishing releases:

Impulse Control

Info link:

Planetary Deputy Chief Marshal Selene Orasova is looking for a reminder pleasure still exists in the universe. Fresh off her latest case, she heads to Tawse, a BDSM club on the planet Sypricon. However, upon her arrival she finds the club almost empty as nearly all the staff has been hired out for the night. Disappointed, she starts to leave, only to walk face first into a wall of muscle.

Vaughn, one of the few Doms at the club Selene hasn’t been under the command of, is immediately intrigued by the hard edged cop. A few instructions and she’s easily under his guidance. However, Vaughn quickly discovers Selene has a problem relinquishing total control. She likes to top from the bottom and that isn’t something Vaughn will stand for. Determined to correct her, Vaughn pushes her limits with a little impulse control.

Warning: This book contains explicit sexual content, graphic language, and situations that some readers may find objectionable including but not limited to: D/s, bondage, flogging

Two very different books that I hope you'll take the time to enjoy.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Sexcerpt ~ Kandy Apple and Her Hellhounds

Sunday afternoon greetings, here’s the Adult Excerpt featured at Siren-BookStrand’s buy page for KANDY APPLE AND HER HELLHOUNDS.

I chose a different scene. However, I asked them to choose another one, if they wanted to, because I wasn’t certain what would be the best one for promo.

This scene takes place as Kandy, Zol, and Zin are binding together as a magickally powerful triad.


Zin seized his exquisite witch’s haunches, lifting her high. Black blazes of lust consumed him as he stared at her moon-pale ass. Aiming his lava-hard cock, he plunged inside her sheath and straight to her core.


Her whispered scream of his name told him what he wanted to know. She wanted more of his binding essence. Buried inside her, he held her tight and spewed.

“Yes, oh yes!” she cried out.

Her slick sheath welcomed him, even as she squeezed his pillar-like length unmercifully. Convulsing with orgasmic rapture, her supple hips arched higher, and she sang moans.

Zol swept his hands along the lovely curves of her sides, caressing her petite body wherever he could reach. With their extreme pleasure mutual, he and Zol connected gazes briefly.

“Goddess, your Vesuvius cock feels good,” she praised. “I think I’m going orgasmically insane.”

Bathed in her sweetfire juices, Zin drew in her sexual force, what she as their one witch naturally surrendered to him. “Kandace, I feel your sacrament.”

“Sacrament.” She breathed out.

“You are our witch.” Zol softly growled. “Your precious energy fills us.”

“Goddess, I’m the one filled.”

Whimpering with the exultation of her release, she collapsed on Zol, her body gleaming and gorgeous. An indescribably sweet torrent of her orgasmic essence flooded Zin. He howled his own primal pleasure. His grip on her hips remained unrelenting as he ascended to Mt. Olympus heights.

“Kandace. My Kandy Apple.” Zin kept her tight against his loins, savoring the incomparable carnal feel of her ass.

“It’s begun,” Zol announced.

“Yes, the smell of irises in bloom.” Zin slitted his gaze enough to witness the purple mist forming around them.

“Irises,” she murmured. “The fragrance is divine.” Lifting her head, she rested her chin on Zol’s chest.

Tenderly, he embraced her head between his palms and raised her face, so their lips sealed in an enduring kiss that Zin felt as a rapturous zap of lightning straight up his shaft.

“Such temptress lips, darling.” Zol nibbled her bottom lip, and Zin surged with his twin’s enjoyment.

Opening his eyes slowly, Zin watched streams of purple swirl around Kandace, the flow in harmony with her supernatural force.

“Mmmm…now, I’m smelling violets. I feel all purply.”

“That means it’s my turn.” Zol nipped her pert nose with his lips, and Zin spun with his twin’s savage need to possess their witch.

“Oh, really. Zin’s monolith is still filling me.”

Relaxing his hold on her hips, Zin eased his cock from her sheath, still pulsing around him delightfully. He watched Zol sweep his palms down Kandace’s back, then seize her haunches.

“Purple passion.” Zol growled.

“Hard,” she whispered.

Kandace widened her thighs as Zol positioned her above his lava-black cock. Leaning back, Zin watched Kandace grip his twin’s shoulders and hold on. Zol thrust his hips sharply. His shaft, dripping with his molten flame, plunged through her small sex altar.

“Yes, yes, yes,” she breathily chanted. “Goddess, there is purple everywhere.”

Smoldering with Zol’s pleasure, Zin answered the question within her voice. “We are creating an etheric cauldron, combining our powers for use as a triad.”

“Oooh…I am bubbly and bubbling. It’s like lilac champagne.”

Around them, the various shades of purple intensified, a whirlwind of their power vibrations. Zin followed his emanations as their energy streams twisted like serpents, then whipped into a vortex, becoming three cyclones that fused and unfused in a constant, brewing dance.

“You’re tingling me divinely like champagne. I’m bubbling over, Kandy love.” Zol passionately stroked their witch’s curvaceous thighs.

“Oh, Zol, you are monolithic. Please—”

Before she finished, Zol slid her up his shaft. He struck deep, groaning from the depths of his beast nature.

Claiming her peach-shaped butt with his hands, Zin caressed as she mewed in utter ecstasy.

Zol nipped her throat, then planted kisses along the delicate column of her neck. “That is what you wanted, darling.”

“Yes, hard. That Vesuvius cock of yours is sorcery inside me.” Kandace undulated daintily, shoving her ass against Zin’s hands. “I can’t get enough of your kisses either.”

Zin gradually pressed his thumbs along her butt crack, then slid strokes on the juicy flesh.

“I must be binding. Both of you, I want both of you. Zol, Zin.” She paused, inhaling as if she didn’t quite believe it. “Oooh, now I smell the purple…like a field of lavender.”

“Both of us?” Zin rasped his own need for more of their witch. He rubbed his thumb pad over the puckered rim of her little butthole, enticing her.

Blurb ~

Kandace doesn’t know why she’s a real witch. Despite her powers, she can’t find her bio parents. When the Tuxedo Twins tempt her with knowledge about her heritage at a charity event, Kandace agrees to dance with the mysterious Supernaturals. Unexpectedly, they are threatened by the omnipresent evil she’s been warned about in her dreams. To keep from being enslaved, Kandace brings forth her greater magick. But, to save her homeworld, she needs her hellhounds.

Zolivar and Zindale, two of Hades’ most mission-accomplished Hellhounds, see a witch sliding down the bannister after her heist of a painting. Spellbound, they know they’ve found just the right Kandy Apple to lick for Halloween. With every passion, Zin and Zol woo their chosen witch. Yet, will their Triad mate stay once she learns they can’t fall in love like humans? Or, will she return to her homeworld? Their very lives are at stake.

KANDY APPLE AND HER HELLHOUNDS is available for pre-order at Siren-BookStrand. The ebook release date is July 12, 2011. Print release is scheduled for December 2011.

Have a Magickal Day!


Savanna Kougar ~ Run on the Wild Side of Romance ~

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Monogamy Sucks for George Pappas

Monogamy Sucks is an erotica novel written in diary format by George Pappas. As I read it, it reminded me of a male’s version of Sex in the City, only with the quest being sex and not attachment and the city being Los Angeles and not New York. In the novel, the main character, Jake Dalmas, decides he’s fed up with restrictive monogamous relationships. He wants variety and lots of it, but he doesn’t want to lie, cheat, or pay for it to get it. Thus he embarks on a swinging sexual adventure. Monogamy Sucks offers a frank and graphic, and frequently humorous, look at one man’s sexual exploration and quest. I’m pleased to interview the author, George Pappas.

Cara: How would you as the author describe Monogamy Sucks?

George: My latest novel Monogamy Sucks is truly a wild ride into the male sexual psyche. It is an unconventional exploration of a Long Beach, Calif. man’s mid-thirties lust crisis and his ensuing sexy, intriguing, and humorous journey into the swinging lifestyle. I call it real life erotica or reality fiction. The story is told in the form of a fictional diary by my book’s protagonist Jake Dalmas, who is looking for answers to deal with his growing disillusionment with conventional relationships and monogamy. Along the way, he discovers some misconceptions about swingers and new aspects about himself. It is frank, funny, shocking at times, and above all – painfully honest.

Cara: I understand that Monogamy Sucks is “loosely based” on your own experiences. Can you speak to that and to what prompted you to write the novel?

George: This book project all started with my own mid-thirties lust crisis. I had grown disenchanted with relationships and monogamy and craved something new in the mid 1990s. It led me on an interesting and strange journey into the swinging lifestyle. However, I wasn’t intending to write a book. I was looking for a good time and to relieve my sexual boredom. When I told my friends about my experiences they were fascinated and suggested I write about it. That helped me realize that these sexy, bizarre, funny and even at times inspirational encounters would make an interesting novel. Kind of an edgy male response to “Sex in the City” and “Bridget Jones Diary.” One reviewer intriguingly called my book “Tucker Max meets Sex in the City.” I think that’s a pretty accurate description.

The story is loosely based on my experiences in the swinging lifestyle, and the stories of others I met along the way, but I want to stress that this is a work of fiction. It’s not non-fiction, a memoir or autobiographical. Jake is a much darker version of myself. He writes and says things I might think, but probably wouldn’t say in real life.

Cara: Monogamy Sucks, but from the story, it appears that so does swinging. Jake doesn’t get the beautiful women he desires, but a lot of skanks he’s not the least bit attracted to. He’s wracked by insecurity and performance anxiety and few of his sexual encounters turn out the way he envisioned or would like. What keeps him going, why persist?

George: Well, my character Jake Dalmas is searching for a more fulfilling sexual life. He persists through the undesirable experiences because he knows the conventional lifestyle of monogamy, traditional relationships and marriage doesn’t work for him. Jake would rather keep searching for a new life rather than retreat to an old one that only leads to more unhappiness for him. He is brave in that way. A lot people I’ve known stay in relationships or marriages for years despite being unhappy and some of them cheat and find solace elsewhere.

I truly wanted the reader experience the journey through Jake’s eyes -- both the good and the bad. I didn’t want to leave anything out either. It was also my intention to provide a clear-eyed view of swinging beyond the fantasies and myths that have been created about this provocative lifestyle. Additionally, I also wanted to dispel some of those myths about swinging.

Cara: How much and in what way do you think real men are like Jake?

George: I believe a lot men in real life have thought about some of the things Jake writes about or experiences in my novel, but not all of them act on it. Jake doesn’t hold back in any way. I intended for him to embody the male sexual mind in all its raw and explicit glory. If many of us men said in real life what Jake writes in my book, we would most likely have trouble meeting women. Of course, women are attracted to bold men so maybe more of us should say what we think. LOL.

Surprisingly, women have really embraced my book more than men have. Maybe it’s because I reveal some hidden aspects of male thinking about sex, relationships and monogamy they would prefer not be exposed or explored publicly.

Cara: What makes men disillusioned with monogamy?

George: Boredom mostly.

Despite all the recent high profile sex scandals, I don’t think men are the only ones disillusioned with monogamy. I believe more women than we have been led to believe are also unhappy with monogamy even if they don’t want to readily admit it.

Frankly, I think a growing number men and women, too, are becoming bored sexually in long term relationships, and are secretly beginning to resent monogamy. There is a lot of temptation out there, and I don’t believe we are monogamous creatures by nature. Monogamy is a tradition imposed or encouraged by society much like marriage is, but the recent surveys and studies about infidelity (and marriage, too!) are troubling and telling a much different story.

Some studies suggest that around 30–40 percent of dating relationships and 18–20 percent of marriages are marked by at least one incident of sexual infidelity, according to the publication “Close encounters: Communication in Relationships.” Some researchers say there's a 50–50 chance today that one partner will have an affair during a marriage. It is estimated that roughly 30 to 60 percent of all married individuals (in the United States) will engage in infidelity at some point during their marriage as referenced on the Truth About Deception Web site. So all is not well with traditional relationships contrary to popular belief.

Cara: Is there a message to Monogamy Sucks? What should men take away from the book? Women?

George: Well, the main message to Monogamy Sucks is that if you’re unhappy with monogamy and conventional relationships that there are alternatives to explore, and monogamy is not all that it is cracked up to be.

I think the message for men is that it is OK to want variety in your sex life and express that in a healthy manner. I believe to deny that part of ourselves as men does not lead to happiness over the long run. Now, that doesn’t mean I am encouraging anyone to cheat, however. I still think men and women should be honest about their desires and talk about them openly and not lie and cheat.

I believe it is the same message for women in that it is healthy to express their true sexual desires as well. However, my book could also provide women keen insight into the male sexual mind, too.

Cara: What do you think are the biggest misconceptions about swinging and the biggest misconceptions about monogamy?

George: I think the biggest misconception about swinging is that swingers are soulless freaks only out to find meaningless pleasure. I learned so much from the swingers that I met. Swingers are no different from anyone else except they have decided to expand their sexual lives. They would rather do that than cheat and lie to their partners. You can see on the news every night how well monogamy is playing out with the latest story of celebrities, athletes or politicians cheating.

Swingers fall in love, have families, houses with picket fences, live in suburbia, work day jobs, go on vacations, and live the normal mainstream life. It’s in the bedroom where they are adventurous. Swingers come from everywhere and exist in almost every country. In fact, you probably know a swinger right now and don’t even know it.

I think the biggest misconception about monogamy is that people assume that it is for everyone and that if you can’t live that way that there must be something wrong with you. There is no right or wrong way to live as long you respect the rights and liberty of others. Whether someone chooses to live monogamously only becomes a moral issue for me when one lies about their real desires and activities. The other misconception is that monogamy helps keep families and marriages together. I don’t think this is true since when people can’t live up to monogamy they lie and cheat causing their spouses and families a great deal of pain and heartache.

Cara: Did the process of writing the book change you in any way?

George: Actually, writing this book helped me become a lot bolder in my personal life and enabled me work out some of my own questions about sex, monogamy and relationships. The experience of writing my novel also has given me confidence as writer to at last pursue my writing dreams. I overcame a lot of fears and doubts in the process of writing my novel, and have developed a thicker skin in dealing with detractors. I’ve also learned the importance of a writer sharing their work online and reaching out through social media. If it wasn’t for my blog and Twitter, I probably wouldn’t have a publishing deal right now. My novel would probably still be sitting in my computer or I would be bringing out myself at some point.

Cara: Any advice for men (or women) who wish to explore swinging or alternative sexual lifestyles?

George: Keep an open mind. Talk about everything before you participate in a swinging encounter if you are a couple. Set up some ground rules so no one gets hurt or there are no misunderstandings. You are expanding your sexual lives not your relationship. This is swinging not polyamory

If you are a single man or woman, just keep in mind that you have been invited to participate in a couple’s sexual lives and nothing more. Keep your head. Once the fun is over, the couple will go back to their married or relationship life and you will go home to seek more future fun as a single swinger. No one wants to ruin anyone else’s relationship. There is a lot erotic pleasure to be discovered for singles and couples in the swinging lifestyle, who approach it in a mature and cool manner.

Cara: What’s next for George Pappas?

George: My next novel about Internet sex and dating is coming out later this summer on Lazy Day Publishing. It has an interesting celebrity angle I can’t reveal right now. I am also writing a paranormal erotica story for a print anthology out in Oct. entitled Indulgence featuring an incredible group of talented Lazy Day Publishing authors. Delving into paranormal erotica is new territory for me. I am very excited about the prospects.

Oh, and I am hoping to finish my sequel to Monogamy Sucks for release by Summer 2012.

Excerpt from Monogamy Sucks by George Pappas

Monogamy sucks.

I came to this sobering realization shortly after my 35th birthday. I had recently ended a dissatisfying relationship with yet another girlfriend because I was sexually restless and convinced I was missing out on something. This had become the frustrating pattern of my love life. Initially, I was enthralled with a new relationship, but typically after several months (sometimes weeks, days or even hours) I would grow bored and long to be single again.

There was no denying I was in the throes of a mid thirties (not quite mid-life) lust crisis.

I am hardly alone in this. I believe this sexual restlessness; this strong need to explore is experienced by many men and women who are married or in long term relationships. They harbor these secret feelings in their hearts and at times act on them.

I am convinced that many who embrace monogamy are in deep denial. The rest of us tolerate it or grow to despise this unrealistic societal restriction of our natural impulses to sexually pursue pleasure with as many partners as possible.

All I know is, staying faithful frustrated me to no end as I attempted to make my way through a wasteland of failed love affairs and relationships. The thrill of the new – new pussy, new sexual adventures – intrigued and haunted me.

My name is Jake Dalmas and what follows is my diary. It is a strange document of how breaking the bonds of monogamy and ditching boring relationship sex, led me on an always interesting, hilarious, intriguing and even at times nightmarish, journey into the provocative world of swinging and casual sex.

How did I come to cross the line from conventional relationships into the sexually charged, but largely misunderstood scene of alternative sexual relationships or what is commonly known as swinging?
Lust, curiosity and boredom, mostly. Those were the driving forces that pushed me into forbidden territory. I was tired of being the good boyfriend who always remained faithful. I wanted the adventure and wild sex I had read about, without being dishonest with myself and cheating on any of the women I was involved with. I guess I wanted to be a bad boy without being a lying asshole.

Deep down I still preferred serious relationships and still even believed I wanted to get married someday. However, as I have a low threshold for sexual boredom, I began to realize that this conventional lifestyle wasn’t a realistic option for me. My imagination burned with visions of orgies, wild sexual couplings, threesomes, and lusty adventures with women of every background, size and age. There was a porno movie playing in my head all the time.

My urges and desires began to affect every aspect of my life. After a while, I had trouble concentrating on anything else. I almost lost my job as a reporter at a daily newspaper because of this obsession, and later had to move into a less stressful public relations job so I would have more time to work out my sexual malaise.

Several of my girlfriends accused me of cheating on them. Well, I have to admit that I was unfaithful in my fantasies. Most of the time when I had sex with my girlfriends, I fantasized about other women. It was really the only way I could fuck them after a while. I was beginning to feel betrayed by my overactive sexual imagination.

Although I never acted on any of these lusty fantasies while I was in a relationship, I knew I was just fooling myself. It was only a matter of time. I wanted other women. There was no denying it. I began to wonder if we are truly monogamous beings.

I was searching for answers to my sexual confusion. But the bottom line; I was hoping to get laid as much as possible. I just wanted to have one day in my life like Hugh Hefner’s typical day at the Playboy Mansion (every hot blooded heterosexual American boy’s dream) and just bed down a bevy of sexy, stunning ladies.

Yet I embarked on my sexual sojourn with mixed feelings of trepidation, lust and excitement. Honestly, I was even somewhat scared. I was entering unknown territory, uncharted waters for me. I didn’t know what to expect. All I had to go on was rumor, fantasy and sketchy information provided by the Internet, men’s and women’s magazines, swinger rags and movies.

However, during my two year journey into this sexual frontier, I discovered that the sexual revolution never really ended. It just went underground. I came to view many of the swingers I met, even those I despised, as erotic explorers and free spirits (not freaks) trying to find more pleasure in their lives.

People you’d never suspect could have the wildest sex lives. A housewife from Redondo Beach could make Madonna look like a nun as she fucks 10 guys in one night. Or a hairdresser from Kansas could spend Saturday night having a threesome with her husband and his best friend.

Who are these people?

They could be anyone. They might be your neighbors. They are doctors, lawyers, CEOs of large corporations, sports stars, successful business people, actors, directors, writers, blue collar workers, truck drivers, warehouse workers, housewives and working women with children. They are family people with kids living the suburban life. They are the nice people living next door to you. They are work colleagues. They could be your best friend or even a family member. They could be the girlfriend in high school, who gave you a lousy blow job and didn’t seem into sex, but has since experienced sexual adventures far beyond anything you could have dreamed. Or they could be the boy you used to know in high school, that never talked to the girls and now orchestrates a gang bang with 12 guys fucking his wife. Or maybe he fucks two or three women in a night.

I knew infiltrating the mysterious and underground world of swingers was not going to be easy. I was embarking on a trip without a roadmap or compass. I really didn’t know what I would find. Maybe I would discover aspects about myself and my sexuality I had not previously known or even a new way to express myself sexually.

I also wondered what past writers, particularly Henry Miller and Anais Nin, would make of today’s modern conveniences of voicemail, 900 numbers, the explosion of porn, and the Internet. Would they find the same basic truths about sex, monogamy and love? Or would they be faced with emptiness, a modern, calculated, instant gratification world of erotica featuring wall-to-wall sucking and fucking with no real sense of adventure, heart or soul? Inspired by their amazing and provocative novels and diaries, I wanted to explore the evolving nature of eroticism, sex and romance occurring in my time as they did in theirs.

I can only hope I have honestly put down in my swinger’s diary what I was feeling and experiencing during my wild romp through this confused journey that we call modern sex.

Monogamy Sucks Buy Link
George Pappas blog
Lazy Day Publisher