13 MORE Crazy-assed Texts from Last Night

13 MORE Crazy-assed Texts from Last Night

Note: I did my first “13 Crazy-assed Texts from Last Night” for my Thursday Thirteen on my own blog today, so I decided to continue it on our RWBB blog. If you want to see the first post it is here: http://jeannestjames.blogspot.com

I laugh my ass off every time I visit this site http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/. Sometimes I laugh so hard that I cry. People submit texts that they received to this website. I’ve decided (with tissues in hand) to go through and pick out some good ones to share for my Thursday Thirteen. I hope you “appreciate” them as much as I do.


By the way, the number is parenthesis before the text is the area code from where it was submitted. And on one last note, I have not altered any of these, so the misspellings and grammar issues, etc., are all the fault of the texters!

1. (562): omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.

2. (505): Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.

3. (843): I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.

4. (219): Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.

5. (812): The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?

6. (540): so i woke up. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn.
(1-540):What did u do?
(540): turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him.

7. (520): just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??

8. (734): So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
(810) You’re 20.
(734) IT'S BUILD A BEAR!

9. (949): while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving

10. (641): Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.

11. (404): you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is

12. (404): What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?

13. (403): I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.

These are a few I found entertaining, but there are many, many more. Have you ever gotten an unbelievable text? If so, share!

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