So what do I do?
What any good author does... RESEARCH. Here's where hubby has that Cheshire Cat grin. No, really... I've been pouring over books (fiction & non-fiction), interviewing various Doms and subs and letting my imagination go.
According to Wikipedia: BDSM is a consensual lifestyle choice, or type of adult role-play between two or more individuals. The compound acronym, BDSM, is derived from the terms bondage and discipline (B&D), dominance and submission (D&S), and sadism and masochism (S&M). BDSM includes a wide spectrum of activities, forms of interpersonal relationships, and distinct subcultures.
I found the best help on the subject (other than personal interviews) was the online site Seekers. This site states,
"D/s is a lifestyle choice, Domination and submission, where people live their lives opting by nature to be either Dominant or submissive. In a relationship the one complements the other and is based on the gift of submission, and absolute trust."
I must say this sight was not only helpful with my work, but I thought the owners handled the subject in a fundamental and considerate manner. As a "vanilla" person, I felt very comfortable thumbing through the pages of information.
Writing this book has become a whole new experience for me and has opened a door I always thought was best kept closed. Not only am I becoming a better writer because of my research but I've also developed a sincere respect for my friends who delve into this world.
Thank you to all who have opened their world to me.
Never be afraid to ask questions,
the answers may amaze you.